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Khloe Kardashian opened up about a deeply painful memory involving ex-husband Lamar Odom during the November 19 episode of her Khloe in Wonderland podcast. The episode, structured as a Q&A, took an emotional turn when a viewer asked whether she still kept a journal.
Khloe explained that journaling had once been a central part of her life. She then revealed what stopped her from journaling altogether.
She explained that during a period when Lamar Odom was struggling emotionally and becoming increasingly paranoid, he fixated on her journals. Believing, without reason, that she was recording information to “send to the government.” So he destroyed them.
“And I remember my ex-husband was going through it. He was having a tough time, and he was incredibly paranoid and found these journals..and just was convinced that I was like taking notes and sending them to the government or something crazy. And he threw all of them into a fire in front of me,” Khloe Kardashian said.
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She further recalled how much journaling meant to her, explaining that she would write constantly and pour her entire life into her notebooks.
“I used to journal all the time. I haven’t journaled in years. I used to love to journal, but so I had a few journals that I journaled literally my life away, and I loved it. And everything was in these journals,” Khloe Kardashian said.
The reality star also shared how she reacted to Lamar Odom’s behaviour, when he burnt her journals, highlighting that she remembered “sobbing, tears streaming down my face.”
“And I was like, like I could remember me on my knees screaming like it was years of my life in these journals. And they meant so much to me. And it was years,” Khloe Kardashian added
Khloe recounted that she had been in her old home, in the master bedroom, when she found herself on her “knees screaming, sobbing,” when Lamar Odom burnt her journals.
She further explained that the experience was so overwhelming that it became the last time she ever journaled. She said she felt as though it had all been “taken away in a blink,” leaving her questioning, “What was the point?”
Khloe Kardashian explains how Lamar Odom destroying her journals changed her thoughts on journaling
Khloe Kardashian revealed that her former husband Lamar Odom’s decision to destroy her private journals left a lasting emotional impact, one that ultimately changed her relationship with writing forever.
Speaking candidly during the episode, Khloe responded to a question about whether anything had “taken the place of journaling” in her life.
Khloe made it clear that since the incident with Lamar Odom, no habit could fill that space that journaling once had
She emphasized that journaling had always been “incredibly therapeutic” for her, and the destruction of her journals in the hands of Lamar Odom taught her a harsh lesson about impermanence and loss.
“I mean, I do believe in journaling so so much. I think it is so incredibly therapeutic. Um, I think it's just like, I had so much there, of so many years of my life, and I think it just made me- just like remind myself that like nothing you don’t get to really keep anything in this world, and… that’s okay,” she explained.
Khloe shared that she had once been someone who “used to hold on to all these things,” admitting she occasionally wrote something only to throw it away.
She never tried to replace what she once had through new journals, but she did express that she wished she still “had those books” Lamar Odom had burned, even just to revisit her younger self’s thoughts and memories.
As she continued, Khloe reflected on the beauty of journaling: the ability to look back at entries from “5 years, 10 years, 2 years” and see how much one has grown or how drastically priorities change over time.
“That's just the special part about journaling…You look back, I don't know 5 years, 10 years, 2 years, and you're like, ‘wow, I was such an idiot. What was I writing about?’ Or ‘I can't believe that mattered to me the way it did then...seeing your emotional state and how far you came, or if you need something to reflect on or maybe inspire you, whatever,” she said.
Despite this appreciation, Khloe Kardashian also admitted that she no longer journaled because of the trauma tied to Lamar Odom destroying her private writings.
She reflected that a part of her was afraid to start again, and afraid to create something so personal only to have it ruined, lost, or violated once more.
“And so I do hate that I don’t do it anymore, but I also think there’s a piece of me that doesn’t ever want to risk that that could ever happen again… I’m not going to say traumatic for me, but I just don’t even want to open that up again,” the reality star explained.
Khloe Kardashian is busy with hosting her own podcast, Khloe in Wonder Land
Meanwhile, Lamar Odom had recently launched the Odom Wellness Treatment Centers in recent years, a rehabilitation initiative dedicated to supporting individuals battling addiction.
